Ted Howard

Salesman: Hi there. Since you’re on a car lot, you must be researching to get a car. Right?
Me: That’s right. I know I need a car. I just need to see what the options are today.
Salesman: Well… we have these ‘normal’ cars priced from like $20,000 to over a $100,000. But you should really consider these other cars over here. They’re completely free and do everything the other cars do.
Me: They have all the same stuff, right? I mean… why are they free?

Salesman: Of course they have all the same stuff! Look. Between you and me, and I know cars, there is no difference whatsoever between those expensive cars and these over here. The only difference is that you just not handing all your money to those guys. You could buy one of those cars, but the car itself is exactly the same!
Me: These cars are just like those car except that the people who make those cars charge more for the same thing?
Salesman: Exactly! You totally understand now. It’s an industry secret. The engineers and workers on these cars care about people like you having great cars and don’t care about getting rich from it. The fact is, the engineers who design these cars used to work for the companies that make the expensive cars. They’re making free cars now because they like making cars and they’re sick of managers who try to make money off of their work. They left the greedy corporations so they could concentrate on what they love – getting people like you into a great new car!
Me: Wow! I’m sold.
Salesman: All right. Here’s the keys.

I hop in the car, ready to leave the lot.

Me: Uh… the key doesn’t fit.
Salesman: Oh. I always forget about this. What language do you speak?
Me: English, obviously.
Salesman: No, but which English? You sound like Kentucky to me. Reach under your seat and pull out the purple wire then twist it.
Me: What?! What about the key you gave me?
Salesman: I don’t know. Just twist the purple wire. It works.

I drive off the lot, get half a block away, push the clutch, pull the gear shift to second gear, let the clutch out, and … coast. I pull over and call the salesman.

Me: About that car you sold me. It’s broken. It won’t go into second gear.
Salesman: It’s not broken. There’s no second gear.
Me: What? You said that this car had everything the other cars had. How is there no second gear?!
Salesman: Absolutely! It’s the same car. The same engineers design both cars. That car you have is a world-class, high-quality machine! The only difference between the car you got and an expensive car is that weight you feel in your pocketbook.
Me: But there’s no second gear! How can I drive it?
Salesman: Let’s see… I found a blog post from someone that says you just go faster in first then shift real fast to third. He says it helps if you’re going downhill when you do it. The blog entry is about two years old, but it probably still applies to the model you’ve got.
Me: Hold on now. People have known about this problem for years? Why hasn’t anyone fixed it?
Salesman: Nobody likes building second gears. It’s boring. But have you seen the GPS system and backup camera yet?

I continue to be disappointed by software built in the open source way. I won’t list all of the problems, but they are disappointing for someone who came from using commercial software like I have. There are clearly exceptions to the allegory. MySQL, Linux, Ruby, and much more are well-executed products.

In general I’ve found that an expensive due diligence effort is required before beginning to prototype using most open source or free products.